A test for readers:

Which man projects more of an Alpha persona?

And why?






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Ω

This post is a reprise of a ► prior one ◄.

Hence, it is the male breakdown of the following video:





Tywin (the elder man) is most definitely an Alpha male.

There is nothing Faux about it.


Here's why:

1} “Lannisters don't act like fools. Go on; say something clever.” Tywin understands that words are, all things considered, meaningless. Action, and action alone, is the only way to accomplish anything, to judge or by which to be judged. Speech is simply the movement of air.


2} “Why is he still alive?... Clean?” Alpha males understand that survival is the main goal. And reproduction, the second. Men, such as he, understand that the attainment of power is the best way to survive, prosper and reproduce (women are attracted to power – hence, confidence is always at the top of their list). The means to achieve it is rarely, if ever, punished. Women, in particular, aren't often interested (and often willingly ignore) how a man got to the top; they care that he is there. What other people think of a Man's actions is frequently irrelevant since, as stated above, speech is merely moving air and few are willing to dish out punishment/justice. Women care what others think because that is the essence of their value since fickleness is all too common among the majority of them. A solid reputation of kindness, loyalty and fidelity are great boons to women as they give Men a look at how qualified they are to be good mothers and not cuckold the Man in their lives.


3} “A Lannister always pays his debts.” This should be understood as to imply debts of both coin and blood. Men know that their reliability is paramount to all, male and female alike, in their lives. Friends should know a Man has their back and enemies should know a Man has their number.


4} Respect is not opinion but fact. This is difficult for many to grasp. One can be loved or hated and still respected. In fact, what healthy women would call “love” is not at all what most would believe. It is respect – hence, hypergamy (the constantly trading up). This is why, when a woman says “You're such a jerk, I don't know why I love you.”, it seems paradoxical. This also why Remarque says in All Quiet On The Western Front that battle brings men closer together than if they were lovers.


5} Men know, to their very depths, that they will die. Moreso than most, since so many want what they have and will kill/hobble/harm them to get it. They also know they are not women; precious few will come to their aid in times of trouble. More importantly, they are expected to handle things on their own. Men understand that only their surname lives on. This is why higher quality Men are so choosy in their mating. “Love” is great – but it is by no means a guarantee. A Man's legacy is, really, all he has.


6} Notice that Tywin is skinning his own dinner. A Man has no fear of bloodying his hands. He never - never - asks another to do what he, himself, would not do.


7} Notice that Tywin rarely looks at his son when he speaks yet his son does not take his eyes off of his father. An Alpha knows and feels that eyes will be upon him when he speaks. He has no need to be validated in this.


8} Tywin admits his son, Tyrion, is a prisoner and a disappointment. But Tyrion is still his son. A Man protects his lineage – regardless of its apparent worth.


9} Tywin emphasizes the value of youth. Alpha Men know how precious a gift it is and are self-aware, self-critical enough, to realize that they have regrets and wish they did things differently, now and then. They admit to their failings and hold themselves accountable, although they do not permit others to judge them.


10} Tywin emphasizes the treasure that is “the now”. Men know that an imperfect action now is better than stalling in hopes of a perfect action later since, all too rarely, is there a another chance.




My only complaint about the speech Tywin gives is that it should have been made when his son was approximately 8-years-old.

And once more a few a years later.





Ω

I recently had a painful, yet very beneficial, opportunity rarely afforded to men.

I got to speak candidly with a woman I'd hit on more than a decade ago about why things happened (or, more accurately, failed to happen at the outset).

I won't rehash the entire conversation (due to its length) but I'll pick the key – and most uncomfortable (for me) - points to discuss.



Therefore, I'll quote her – then break it down:

“I wasn't planning on staying at the party [where we met] more than 15 minutes. But you had a guitar...”

Having a demonstrable skill is a demonstration of higher value (DHV). Whether it's writing, playing an instrument, dancing, etc. , women want need to know a man has something going for him and interests he pursues.



“You gave me your number but you didn't write your name with it. So, later in the week - when I was going through my purse, I just trashed it with all the other numbers. I didn't know which was yours and I get a ton of numbers. I mean, look at me...”


Most men would call her a “stuck-up bitch” and say they were better off without her.

I am not most men.

And they would be wrong.



See, she was HOTT.

She is not being arrogant/narcissistic/solipsistic.

Immodest?

Yes.

But incorrect or full of herself?

Not in the least.

She knew her SMV.

And it was SKY HIGH.

My error #1 – I thought I was a unique and special snowflake. I am not; no one is. I was not worldly enough, at that point, to realize that I was merely one among many potential suitors. She had many options and was right to exercise them.

[As a side note, I would date her a few years later; she ended up being a very sweet, very loyal, very caring, very enjoyable girlfriend - though we never had this particular conversation for some reason before now.

We split because of personality differences.

Not malice or misdeed.]



“When we met up a year later, you seemed angry at first but then you were actually good to talk to...”

My error #2 – I wasn't angry; I was nervous. I'd figured I was shot down and didn't know how to take it in stride. But once she approached me and was pleasant, I let go and enjoyed our time. A mistake, but corrected quickly enough.



“You gave me your number again and told me not to lose it this time... I knew you were teasing me so it was Ok.”

I got this right. But I would screw it up again later...



“I called you a week later but you gave me shit for losing your number the first time. It was kinda scary...”

My error #3 – MAJOR FAILURE. I took things too seriously, made foolish accusations and looked WAY TOO NEEDY.



So, gentlemen everyone, no man is perfect or wins them all.

Improve yourself.

Improve your Game.

And you'll eventually catch what you pursue.

I did.





Ω

I also said I go deeper into this:

http://www.bakadesuyo.com/are-arranged-marriages-better


I believe the best way to address this is with a few points I've mentioned over time:

1} A family can weed out Faux Alphas better than a single woman.

2} A family will emphasize commonalities and similarities rather than rely on the tired “opposites attract” trope (which is, more often than not, used to excuse poor mate choices by both parties).

3} As I wrote previously - marriage is too important a thing to base upon love alone. A family is not under the effects which, though extremely enjoyable, cause delusion and (metaphorical) blindness.



This should not be read as a statement to promote arranged marriages.

Instead, it is intended to advise greater forethought and rational thinking before taking the matrimonial step.





Ω

I said I'd go deeper into this article:

http://www.bakadesuyo.com/is-there-a-science-to-sexiness



So here it is:

“Growing evidence shows that features we find attractive in members of the opposite sex signal important underlying dimensions of health and reproductive viability.”

This why younger women are preferred by men.

Fertility in women drops precipitously as time passes.

So much so, that pregnancy at (the female's) age 35 is considered “geriatric”.

This is also why a man's age, though still a consideration for women, is nowhere near as important.

“The way men rate facial attractiveness in women predicts estrogen levels and female reproductive health (Law-Smith et al.,2006). Faces can contain cues to underlying genetic resistance to disease.”

Men are not, in fact, being “shallow”.

[At least, no more or less so than women wanting a tall man with an attractive face and the means to provide for the next generation.]

We are actually using a tried and True method of choosing the best possible candidate to grant us a healthy legacy.

“Women with low WHRs (narrow waists and broad hips) are consistently rated by men in many cultures as more attractive, with optimal WHRs being about .7 (Singh, 1993). Large samples of Playboy models (Tovee et al., 1997) and female film stars (Vora-cek & Fisher, 2006) both converge on this value, with each showing average WHRs of about .68. In a recent study, men who were born blind or developed blindness later in life were presented with mannequins varying in WHR. Even those who were born blind preferred the shape of the low WHR, indicating that visual input is not necessary to develop or maintain this preference.  (Karremans, Frankenhuis, & Arons, 2010)... By now it should come as no surprise thatwomen with low WHRs are more reproductively viable.”

That's right:

Even men that were born blind prefer an appropriate BMI.

And, it seems, with good reason.





Ω

Blood greases the turning of the world.

Blood on your thighs.

Blood on my hands.



Your willingness to endure horrors.

My willingness to commit them.

These are the things – Truly the only things – that keep us going.



This is why women fall for bad men.

This is why men love submissive women.

This is the ensanguined past, present and future of humanity.





Ω

Dear agent68,

After all these years, you have seen the best and worst of me.



You know my noble qualities.

You know my flaws.

Most of all:

You know how far I will go to survive.

And the things I would do to keep what little I call mine.



For your acceptance, know I am grateful.

Most importantly, know (to quote The Hound):

“One day, you will thank me for all of the hateful things I do."

Not that you don't already.








Ω

Of the women with whom I've been...

Three have used sex not long after our break-up to get over/back at me.

(Of which I know.)



One cried softly during and after.

The second felt used and unvalued.

The third felt humiliated and degraded by a post-coital comment the ex boyfriend she turned to and slept with once more.



Long time readers know me well enough to know I despise schadenfreude.

I am NOT pleased by their experiences.

In fact, I Truly feel for their trauma.



I merely articulate this for the same reason I keep this LJ:

Learn from their mistakes.

And (in this particular case, ladies) understand that when I offer advice, as unpleasant as it may be:

It is for your benefit.





Ω

Last nostalgia video for the evening:




The singer looks a GREAT deal like a woman I dated for a year.

Very much my style - short, light eyes, dark hair.



While not the hottest woman I've ever had...

The sex was absolutely mind-blowing.





Ω

Another nostalgia video:





The woman in blue looks a GREAT deal like a former GF of mine.

[Only my former GF had "DD" cups - I'm noticing a trend.]

And oddly enough, my former GF was wearing blue when I met her.

I even wrote a song about it.



Now, blondes aren't normally my style...

but I was willing to make an exception.





Ω

Every so often, when I'm feeling nostalgic, I watch this video:




Mainly because the female cop [@4:44] looks a LOT like my ex - Leahann.

(Leahann ran quite a bit so her legs were a touch thicker and she had natural "D" cups.)



Although she left me:

It's nice to know I hit that.

When she was 20/21.

And I was in my 30's.



I lost her because, back then, I didn't know a great deal about Game.

But at least I knew enough to get her at her best.





Ω

This is one the best collections of advice for women I've ever read:

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/1353695841.html

Now, I could be pedantic and quibble about a minor point, here or there, regarding its content.

However, it is all solid, powerful and wise.


Now, some may say:

“You're a man; how would you know what good female advice is?”



Well, to put it bluntly:

I'm [meaning men as a whole] the one who fucks you.

Holds the keys to commitment.

Fathers your children.

Comforts you in trying times.

Keeps you safe.

And loved in a way no one else can.

Most of all – I'm not competing against you.

Therefore, my motives are unquestionable.



In fact, any woman I've ever dated will confess:

I've never wanted anything for them more than their own contentment/happiness.





Ω

A former girlfriend of mine recently graduated with her Master's degree.

(Congrats, once more, darlin'.)

Thus, she invited me to a celebratory dinner.



When I arrived and she opened the door for me, the very first words out of her mouth (before “Hello” even) were:

“Wow! You lost weight!”.

Of course, I gave a sincere thanks.

Moments later, having entered, one of her mother's closest friends said, upon seeing me:

“My, you look svelte!”



Now, I never seek the approval of women (or men).

Nor do I work-out to impress anyone but myself.

However, I'd be lying if I said their comments didn't have a profound, positive impact on me.

So, ladies:

Thanks, again.

Truly.





Ω

Long time reader desahra asks:

“Why do girls always seem to assume that their rightness in an argument boils down to which one is prettier?”



This is one of the easier questions I've been asked to answer.

As usual, Occam's Razor cuts to the heart of the matter:

1} Almost without exception, school districts have all-female primary education teachers. And, as advertising has proven, both men and women prefer dealing with attractive females.

2} As in any species where the female bears the greater burden of reproduction, the female is assigned greater value, overall. [This is why women are first on life-rafts, not drafted, etc.]

3} Once the age of viable procreation is reached, in Western society, the preponderance of males immediately begin kow-towing to the most attractive females in the hope of gaining sexual access. And, as reality is (often) a mutually agreed upon illusion, the most attractive females are placated. Of course, this does not necessarily mean they are believed or Trusted. However, their world-view/opinions are constantly/consistently reinforced by those desiring to gain favor. Continue this trend for a decade or so and one will find a woman with unassailable beliefs.



Now, the down side of this coin is that, as those particular females' beauty fades, they find the world to be a much crueler place.

This is also why one notices that the older a woman is, the less likely she is to divorce and/or have high standards for potential mates.





Ω

Recent events with my brother prompted this post.

As usual, I take a micro event (a slice of my life) and make it a macro lesson.


How to handle a break-up like a man:

1} Be polite. Harsh words will only paint you to be the asshole you most likely aren't. End things civilly.

2} Understand that, no matter what, you will be portrayed as the bad guy/instigator. Yes, the onus of getting a woman is on you as is losing one. Contrary to what the world will try to tell you – gender defines you.

3} Have sex with another woman as quickly as possible. A woman willing to sleep with you is willing to do just about anything else for you. This means, if you bed her, it's very probable you have her in all other areas (or she is at least amenable to other options). A woman does not have this benefit from the same activity. This advice works for men and not women because sex is an end for men but a means for women.

4} Remember, women have a 463 bullet point checklist for men to meet. Men have 2 – youth and beauty. She will be easier to replace than you will be.

5} Her friends will tell her anything to make her feel better. Not to mention the fact that most of this advice will be counterproductive, considering the influence of hypergamy. It's also why a woman's female friends will never suggest any type of self-improvement. All humans are in competition with one another – and that's how women compete for the best men. De facto, this will make it much harder for her to replace you.

6} Realize you lost her because you screwed up. Tighten your Game, get in better shape, etc.

7} Understand that she will consider herself better off without you. And she is correct – for the moment. Do not expect her to miss you, mourn for losing you or pine for your attention. In this world of instant (internet) validation, she will be backed up by her friends (that want to keep her single AND out of the Game) along with men that want to fuck her.

8} Do not contact/stalk her. As above, she doesn't miss you and you will only learn things you would Truly rather not know. Give her time. As my father said (and it was brilliant) – if a woman wants to be with a man, nothing on earth will stop her from going after him. Never – not once – have I seen this disproven.

9} Have confidence in who you are. If you're even half decent, it's only a matter of time before she realizes what a prize she lost. Don't wait for that, however. If her SMV is high enough, she won't even remember she was married to you let alone shared a few drinks.

10} Understand most men have no Game. And most women don't realize that their Game needs to adapt to their (quickly) decreasing SMV. This knowledge alone will be a comfort to the wise.



Extra Credit: Most of all, keep in mind that women are the gatekeepers to sex; men are the gatekeepers to commitment. Sure, she will be banging another man mere days after the two of you split (I know from personal experience) but that's no guarantee that she'll find a fulfilling relationship before you do.



The world is harsh place.

The sooner you realize this:

The sooner you'll prosper.





Ω